A child's mindless rattle

A tooth-less rattle

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
1:11 PM

Hold me down.

When things get too comfortable, I get carried away thinking and envisioning things that are.. Almost out of reach. Hold me down, remind me to put my feet on the ground. Felt a dull haertache when we talked about being married to someone else. Maybe some day I'll learn to laugh it off nicely, but for now.. I don't wanna think about something that'll hurt. I rather stick to my 'plasma tv in the room.. I want a projector in the living room, with a really good DVD player and sound system.. Not to forget, a nice comfy sofa for the both of us with lots of cushions.' It doesn't hurt to plan for the 5% possibility that things may just turn out that way, right? Expect the unexpected.

On my way home last night, I was thinking about a lot of things. I'm 22 now. The beginning of my life. Everyone at this age is heading out to different places. Susan's gonna do what my sis is doing.. And honestly, it saddens me a little. I looked at everyone else.. And I thought to myself.. '20 years down the road, where am I?'

The ones that really scare me, are..

1) attending perhaps.. one of my ex's wedding alone. Then eventually.. her kid's 1st month celebration.. and then maybe.. her kid's graduation and her 30th wedding anniversary party.. all alone.

2) being as broke as i am now. 20 years, still having nothing.

3) having everything, yet I'm still doing number 1 alone.

Another few more years to make my mark. This job does not give me the room for growth. Solution? Job hop. Only after 2 months though. When I'm here for half a year.

Cough and flu's getting worse. Walked by cineleisure and started coughing badly after inhaling the smokers' smoke. No more urge to smoke, or drink, or go out have fun. I think I've found my motivation back. Was excited to see that the reference library is up and running at victoria street! I will prob swing by every few days to check out the reference books. Love reading books with nice pictures of cells, DNAs, genes, and such. Time to keep up with my monthly science mags too. Been so busy to read.

time's good now.. Apart from not having enough sleep, and stress level is a little high, I quite like life as it is now. Busy, yet.. fully satisfied in all ways.

Must say a big thank you to dear.. not for her.. i probably won't have the energy to go on. Life's good because you're here.

The End!